Dealing with Negativity

I think we can all say that being negative is a natural instinct and it occurs in most situations that we experience.

For example, you’re in traffic and you’re complaining about how it’s taking forever to get to your destination. You’re in a long queue wanting to buy your food and you’re annoyed about how many people there are. You’re trying to give your friend advice on breaking up with their boyfriend/girlfriend but they won’t listen to you and you think they’re being stupid and that they need to get over it. You’re having an argument with your parents and you wonder why they just won’t understand how you feel. The list can go on and on and on.

According to research, we go through 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day, and 80% are negative thoughts. We tend to blame situations or blame people for the cause of our negativity, and we don’t realise that we’re actually the cause for it.

Being negative becomes an unconscious thing and we don’t realise how negative we actually are. As negative thoughts gradually build up, it can lead to us being mentally unhealthy, and in some cases, as it builds up even further, it can lead to depression and anxiety, and may reach the point where we don’t know how to be positive anymore.

As I quoted in my previous post about Happiness, “the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it.“ People don’t often realise this, and would say:“it’s his/her fault”, “it’s anxiety/depression’s fault”, “it was because of this situation that I’m upset/angry”, “it’s not my fault that I’m bright negative about this” etc.

Humans can be such cynical creatures. We always have to blame something or someone for the cause of our negativity, when in fact, the negativity is because us thinking that way. You can blame as many people and as many situations as you want, but the only one who can change your negativity to positivity is you.

If thinking negative can be an unconscious thing, why can’t thinking positively be? As you change your negative thoughts, whatever they may be, to being positive, you become happier and mentally healthier. As you do this more and more, thinking positively will become unconscious. Whatever situation you find yourself in, no matter how bad it is, there is always a way to think positively instead of letting your mind drown in negativity. There is no such thing as “there’s no reason to think positively in this situation” - because there is. 

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” - Willie Nelson

There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Lots of love…

Jadeyy xo

Happiness

I've always wondered what happiness actually is. Is it getting a present that you've wanted for a long time? Is it getting good grades in school? Is it being promoted a higher salary at work? To me, that's just short-term happiness - because soon you'll want something different, those grades won't mean anything once you get into your chosen college/university, and you'll want more money after getting used to spending your salary. We always tend to look forward to happiness, as if it is in the future, and not in the present.

So what exactly is happiness?

Happiness is simple. So simple that sometimes we forget how to be happy.When we're upset or angry, we drown in our irrational thoughts and begin to think nothing but negative things. When we are in a negative mood, we don't even think about being happy, because we think that there is nothing to be happy about. You don't believe everything you see in newspapers or on the Internet, so what makes you think your thoughts are true?

"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it." - Eckhart Tolle

I think that being happy links to being grateful. Why? Because when we start to become grateful for the things around us, we realise how much we take for granted, and that we should be happy and grateful to have these things. For example, as I am typing this, I am grateful for having a laptop. For having Wi-Fi. For having a roof above my head. For having a family. For having a house to shelter me from the cold. And the list goes on.

So you think there's nothing to be grateful for? You are wrong. Take a look around you. What do you see? Start to think of what it would be like if that thing was not there. As you begin to analyse more and more, you start to realise how much we take this beautiful world for granted.

We only have a short amount of time on Earth, and God gave us a life for a reason. I believe that life is an adventure, and it is up to us to create it and to follow our own paths. So why spend your life being negative? It's pointless to sit around and drown ourselves in self-pity. Happiness is up to you and you are the only one who can control it.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - Maya Angelou

The next time you are in a negative mood, do something that makes you happy. Listen to uplifting music. Whilst you are doing this, start to think of things that make you happy, and things that you are grateful for. This trains your mind to think positively and the more you get used to this, the easier it is, and soon it'll be your unconscious thoughts.

People focus too much on how they feel rather than how they should think. Once you change your mind to think positively, you become a happier person, and you also influence those around you. I've found from my own experience that when you are happy, you radiate positive energy. I want to be that person who brightens up someone else's day simply by being happy and giving out happiness.

"Be happy... not because everything is good, but because you can see the good in everything."

Lots of love,

Jadeyy xo